2. AN 'ELECTRIC' Divine Assurance

It was the early part of the year 2003. We did not know it then, but those few months were the last ones of Bhagawan walking during Darshan. Bhagawan had already stopped going to the men's section in the afternoons. He would turn where the ladies' block ended and walk towards the verandah. So, to get that prime spot where He turned, there was intense competition, in spite of tokens being given for darshan. We, the students and devotees, sat day after day absorbing His loveliness, His walk, creation of vibhuti, conversations, jokes and comments. Blissful days indeed, but packed with significance !!
 

Bhagawan among His lady devotees in Brindavan

One day I was sitting at the tip of that 'prime' block and opposite me I saw one of my seniors from the  College (Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning) at Anantapur. She was a lawyer and her family had been devotees from many decades. I just registered this in the course of my other jobs in the darshan ground. I also knew that this sister had recently lost her father.

The beautiful Sai Kulwant Hall flanking the Prasanthi Mandir

The ladies sit to the right and the men to the left

Soon, the darshan music started (this was before Veda-chanting became the norm for announcing Bhagawan's arrival into the Sai Kulwant Hall), and everyone hurried to settle down, as Bhagawan entered the Hall. As He came slowly walking along the carpet (spread between the two opposite blocks of lady devotees), I saw my senior getting ready to give a letter to Him. He paused near her, took her letter and spoke loving words of consolation at her bereavement. Swami said, "He (father) is with me, he died on a good day, don't worry . . . " This person's father had had a close physical proximity to Swami, judging by the conversation that was audible to me, sittting opposite. Anyway I always had my antennae on high alert during darshan. Why? To capture some pearls of Divine wisdom of course, and not miss certain one-liners of Bhagawan which were really very important and often delivered in the most casual manner.

And, I was not mistaken. I heard this lady plead with Swami in Telugu (native language of Andhra Pradesh, where Puttaparthi is situated): "We have no-one else, Swami; please, please do not ever forget us." Silently, my empathy was flowing towards her and I too was moved by and caught up in this prayer. Swami's back was towards me. Suddenly, He stiffened and assumed a commanding pose. As I stared, I witnessed and heard God speaking.

He said, firmly and clearly, "I NEVER FORGET" 
In Telugu, the words were, "Nenu eppudki maravanu".

I was stunned. What a transformation from sweet, gentle, compassionate Maya-swarupa to solemn, grand God. The humanness just dropped away, and GOD was giving a message to Humanity. 

GOD always IS. He is beyond the vagaries of time and hence of memory and other changing adjuncts. How can the Ever-lasting One forget anyone or anything. Time is just a strand in His matted locks of hair. He is Siva, the Eternal, Timeless One !

         
Also, His relationship with each one is solely on the soul level! It does not matter whose son or daughter you are, what position in society you may hold, what your talents are, how much wealth you have, what language you speak or which place you have come from. Even if He used to refer to these things in conversations with devotees, that was just to give us a reference point, not because He needed one ! That was just to tell us that He knows about us, not that He was limited by this. Imagine, if during darshan, He had moved about without this play-acting. Conversation with Him would have been impossible. But 'intelligent' as we are, we take these gestures at face value and think it is this earth-identity that binds us to Him, till out of His Grace He decides to shatter this illusion. In that moment, with that one sentence, Swami ripped through that illusion that day.

What of me? My monkey mind tripped into the next agenda: Self-pity. I mused unconsciously, but intently, "Oh how lucky she is to receive this assurance from Bhagawan Himself, that He would never forget her! How lucky indeed!"  Swami smartly turned on His heels and gave me a stern, piercing look. He glared at me for a while while my heart took a backward flip inside me, and then He walked away to the men's side. (Well, this was morning darshan). As he finished the men's round and came near the Ganesh portico, He looked at me again from that distance, to make sure that the message had reached home.

For, He knew what I had been thinking for the past few days. I was in a self-induced depression about something and was convinced that Swami did not really bother about the ups-and -downs of my life, did HE ? Of course, He loved me, but perhaps He skimmed through the daily details. They were not 'spiritual', or important perhaps.

That day, I learnt a big lesson. No detail escapes God or is ever forgotten by Him. There may be other reasons why life does not move in the way we plan.  Subsequent events in my life proved to me that it is only God who all the time remembers us and saves us from many unforeseen events, sometimes before they happen. The Bible says, "How beautiful is the Lord's foresight". Everything in the framework of God's love happens for our good and yes, He never forgets. He just waits for the right time to make His move. Till then, rest in the fact of His Love !!